After holding my breath to pass the kitchen that smells like a garbage disposal, then inhaling as I passed the neighbor's marijuana-infused hallway, I emerged on the sunny sidewalk. At first refreshing but soon an ugly mess of sweat and anger. My goal was to find a cafe that would feed me pancakes and free internet. I walked into Willburg Cafe where I had eaten brunch two weeks before and ordered the buttermilk pancakes adorned with fresh fruit.
It looked beautiful. 
However, when I placed the first piece of "pancake" in my mouth equipped with banana and syrup, it became clear this was not a pancake. WHY ADVERTISE SOMETHING AS A PANCAKE IF YOU'RE GOING TO MAKE IT AS IF IT WERE FRENCH TOAST?! Maybe if I liked french toast this wouldn't be a big deal, but I don't like french toast! This happens to me ALL the time. It's either my fault for being adventurous with ordering or my fault for believing what the menu says my food will be.
I've had good Thai food here, like 6 times. Thai is Thai I guess, and curry is curry. Squid red curry, mixed seafood red curry, spicy shrimp yellow curry etc. I really do love curry. Good Indian food also, and of course amazing pizza, but breakfast, my favorite meal of the day (!) has bombed consistently. How do you screw up eggs? Tell me, please. What I would give for a bean taco from Taquitos, or even a breakfast plate from Austin Java. I thought I could count on pancakes, but I was so completely wrong. 60 percent of my meals here have been fruity pebbles and more recently, corn flakes. Well, and of course coffee. This is going to cause me to indulge in culinary feats.
I'm sure some would point to my recent transition to pescatarianism as the issue, but I don't really believe that. There are tons of meatless options here; the meat dishes probably suck just as bad as the meatless. PANCAKES? COME ON! Sorry, I'm still a little perturbed.
Look what the heat and food-anger made me write earlier:
"So let's start off with how miserable I am. I think I like to be miserable because I find myself feeling this way often. Maybe it's just that I need specific things to be comfortable like good food and air conditioning. Right now my eyes hurt and it smells like food smoke and i hate everything! I just want to do work and write and catch up on reading. Where do I go?! LIBRARY! YES YES YES! However, that means I have to travel in the hot sun, and OH WAIT-- it's Sunday, the library is closed. I HATE YOU LIBRARY BITCHES! YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE AN OPEN FORUM FOR PEOPLE LIKE ME! "
It made me curse library workers! Now, you know I'm upset.
Sometimes it just feels like you have no options and the world is so small, but then you go to the park and everything gets better. The park or www.LOLcats.com
However, when I placed the first piece of "pancake" in my mouth equipped with banana and syrup, it became clear this was not a pancake. WHY ADVERTISE SOMETHING AS A PANCAKE IF YOU'RE GOING TO MAKE IT AS IF IT WERE FRENCH TOAST?! Maybe if I liked french toast this wouldn't be a big deal, but I don't like french toast! This happens to me ALL the time. It's either my fault for being adventurous with ordering or my fault for believing what the menu says my food will be.I've had good Thai food here, like 6 times. Thai is Thai I guess, and curry is curry. Squid red curry, mixed seafood red curry, spicy shrimp yellow curry etc. I really do love curry. Good Indian food also, and of course amazing pizza, but breakfast, my favorite meal of the day (!) has bombed consistently. How do you screw up eggs? Tell me, please. What I would give for a bean taco from Taquitos, or even a breakfast plate from Austin Java. I thought I could count on pancakes, but I was so completely wrong. 60 percent of my meals here have been fruity pebbles and more recently, corn flakes. Well, and of course coffee. This is going to cause me to indulge in culinary feats.
I'm sure some would point to my recent transition to pescatarianism as the issue, but I don't really believe that. There are tons of meatless options here; the meat dishes probably suck just as bad as the meatless. PANCAKES? COME ON! Sorry, I'm still a little perturbed.
Look what the heat and food-anger made me write earlier:
"So let's start off with how miserable I am. I think I like to be miserable because I find myself feeling this way often. Maybe it's just that I need specific things to be comfortable like good food and air conditioning. Right now my eyes hurt and it smells like food smoke and i hate everything! I just want to do work and write and catch up on reading. Where do I go?! LIBRARY! YES YES YES! However, that means I have to travel in the hot sun, and OH WAIT-- it's Sunday, the library is closed. I HATE YOU LIBRARY BITCHES! YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE AN OPEN FORUM FOR PEOPLE LIKE ME! "
It made me curse library workers! Now, you know I'm upset.
Sometimes it just feels like you have no options and the world is so small, but then you go to the park and everything gets better. The park or www.LOLcats.com
3 comments:
oh bba! i'm so sorry you had a yick yick breakfast -
Sounds like you need to take three deep breaths, in front of your neighbors apartment.
So i guess this means you're going to learn to make pancakes?! sweet!
i love you and i miss you...
i'll cook for you anytime.
my secret word is untheram as in
We will have to perform invasive surgery because of the seed which has sprouted in your untheram, it is almost impossible to remove otherwise.
oh c'mon I know how to make pancakes!
hahahaha! lolcats.com is the best- bradley's favorite getaway website is: http://epicwinftw.com/
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