Mental

I met with my professor yesterday. It was great. To be able to speak, human to human, with someone you hold in high regard is so satisfying, especially when you get to be yourself. Generally, I do not meet with my teachers. I'm a junior at UT; I've had 24 professors and I've only met with one, my spanish professor. This is my second time to meet with a UT instructor. It's a shame, really. I've always used the excuse that I'm too shy or I have no reason to meet with them.

When I had to fill out a scholarship form that required two letters of recommendation from teachers I didn't have anyone to ask, so I asked my previous Spanish professor to write one, but she didn't have time. I ended up having to ask the national president of my fraternity whom I have met with a few times and frequently exchanged e-mails.

Soon after the meeting started and my journalism professor asked me how i felt about journalism, I opened up to him like a rosebud. I felt very comfortable. I made fun of myself, and laughed at some rather serious problems I have concerning my academic confidence. He told me I needed to go to the mental health center and speak to a counselor. Hah! That was great. It sounds really bad when you say it out loud, but it's true. I have very jumbled thoughts about my career, life and abilities at this point in time. I'm just very overwhelmed, and I feel the end is stampeding toward me. I know that talking to someone neutral about my personal thoughts would help. My brother has also reinforced the idea of seeing a counselor. It makes sense; I just have to make the time to schedule an appointment.

I guess the "I'm not crazy" outburst in the book store a few days ago was some kind of clairvoyant reaction.